Make Up Sex

You know that sweaty, passionate, make up sex that happens after you’ve had an argument with your significant other? The kind that’s part comfort, part still working out some of that residual anger that might still be clinging to the both of you? The kind that leaves you feeling close to your partner again?

Well I don’t.

In previous relationships, I was never a fan of make-up sex. It could have been that, especially with the exhusband, sex was such an emotionally charged, touchy subject anyhow, that an argument just brought our sexual difficulties to light even more, I dunno. We were really sexually dysfunctional for a lot of years.

But I’m pretty sure that in our decade together, we didn’t have make up sex even once.  We often went to bed angry, or if not angry, then with lingering bad feelings toward one another.

Last night, CBG and I had our first fight. I’ll call it a “fight” – it’s the closest we’ve come in our almost year together. It didn’t last long…we were able to reel it in before it got out of hand. It was a series of miscommunications, misunderstandings, and misdirected frustrations.

But I’ll be honest – the temptation was there. It had been a long and emotionally tiring weekend for me, and then with the news of the neighbour girl’s brush with death, I was feeling pretty on edge. It was tempting to just take that upset out on him, particularly when he gave me good reason to do exactly that. I’m sure it was also easy for him to keep pointing his frustration at me – it had been both a long and tiring week and evening for him, too – even though that wasn’t where it belonged.

My point is, is that for the first time likely in my whole life, I found myself wishing for make-up sex. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re not together all the time, or maybe it’s because he and I have no “issues” when it comes to our sexual relationship, but when I went to bed last night, I found myself wishing that we had been together….so that we could have comforted each other in that way.

Or at the very least, worked off any remaining frustration.


9 Responses

  1. lol great intro. I am not a fan of make up sex – once everything is sorted sex is great though.
    Sex is very much a love/affection act for me, so when angry I am more a touch me and die person – can never imagine sex when you are still a little hurt or angry as a means of making up … coffee & a cuddle will work for me.

  2. I can not do make-up sex. I need a good nights sleep to process things in my brain and to calm down after a fight. I don’t know of many women out there that can just give it up right after a fight. Though the fight has subsided most women need time to process things in our brains, overthink things, and regroup our thoughts on the situation. However feeling the touch of the loved one helps in calming our nerves.

  3. Unlike the others here, I AM a fan of make-up sex. Maybe it’s because my ‘love language’ is physical touch – I don’t know – but for me, to have that deep physical connection after being temporarily ‘disconnected’ through an argument is always great and helps things feel even more resolved than they would without it.

  4. I also agree with Mindy, I am a make up sex girl.

  5. I actually don’t like make-up sex. It mixes anger or hurt feelings with sexual energy. I prefer my sexual energy full of fire – of the love and lust variety!

    Hope you two find peace.

  6. i typically take it however i can get it >:D

    hee hee hee

  7. I guess it’s just a matter of your personal chemistry with your partner, or maybe just the way you are personally. Makeup sex has always been great for me.

  8. God it has been years since I had sex with someone…..besides myself.I am not joking and I reaaaally wanna meet someone.Will it happen?Do I really need to go to a dating site to meet someone-if so what site is best if I am looking for a life partner at 40????Help please!!!!

  9. J and I got in a small argument recently, it was minor but it was emotional for me, trying to explain how I was feeling about something that we had already worked out….so we get in bed and fall asleep and in the morning he goes, “I can’t believe we didn’t have make-up sex!”

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