One of the things that I always wanted to be for my daughters was a positive role model.
That, in fact, weighed heavily in my mind when I decided to end my marriage. What kind of life example did I want to set for my girls? Ultimately I decided that I wanted to show them that happiness is truly important. I wanted to show them that “settling” or “making do” is not enough. That true joy and happiness are to be found, and sometimes you have to take a huge risk in order to find it.
I also want them to grow up with a mom who, while she makes plenty of mistakes in life, is able to take responsibility for them, and always tries to learn from those mistakes. Life’s like that. Shit happens. Some of us learn from it, some of us don’t. Mistakes are inevitable – the truly wise are able to use them as opportunities for growth and empowerment.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes when it comes to parenting my girls, I know that. I don’t think there’s a parent on the planet who can claim otherwise. Well, I guess they can, but they’d only be lying to themselves, quite frankly. There’s a few mistakes in particular that I would take back if I could. The truth is, much as I would like to, I can’t. The only thing that I can do is vow not to make them again, and to sincerely apologize to my girls if they ever come to me about them later in life.
I’m happy to say that I’m also teaching my girls about love. I’m teaching them what it means to be in a romantic relationship with someone. I know that they (particular my 6 yr old) are paying attention to my relationship with CBG. Just yesterday, in fact, Kiddo, my oldest, read my “morning tweet” from CBG over my shoulder. He sends me a tweet, every single morning without fail, that simply says, “Good morning, beautiful.” My daughter read this out loud, and a dreamy look passed over her face. I could swear that she swooned, in fact.
I’m glad that they are learning about relationships from the example that CBG and I are setting for them. I am happy to show them two people who are in love, who are willing to overcome obstacles for that love. I am happy that they are witnessing a man who absolutely adores their momma and is actively wooing her. It’s good for them to see that, I think — it will set up an expectation for them in their own future relationships. They will know how to be treated, they will see what it means to be in love with someone else, and they won’t settle for less than that. No, our love’s not perfect, but that’s okay. Nothing in life is, is it? We’re doing our best with what we’ve got, and it’s pretty freakin’ awesome.
I wish for nothing less for these two beautiful girls of mine.
Filed under: CBG, dating, figuring stuff out, happiness, mom stuff, The "L" Word, the girls, thoughts on stuff | Tagged: canadian bald guy, dating, happiness, inspiration, life, long distance relationship, love, relationships, single parent, singlemom |