Last night was another “family dessert night” with me, CBG, my two girls, and the newest addition to our family — CBG’s oldest daughter (who has yet to be given a bloggy name). Our dessert nights are fun, light, full of laughter and cautiously getting to know each other. They are a definite bright spot for all of us in our week.
When I was younger I used to think about how I wanted a big family. I pictured a house full of children – 5 or 6 of them at least. It was just something that I pictured about my life — mothering a large brood. When my ex had a vasectomy after our two daughters were born there was a definite sadness that I felt there. I know it’s likely not an uncommon feeling, but I just didn’t feel “done” in the children department, in an inexplicable way. When we split, initially wondered if this meant I was going to have more children, but very quickly I figured out that having more babies myself just wasn’t part of my future.
Then I met CBG, with two children of his own. Although it’s taken some time to get there, they have definitely become step children. And now with this newest addition, our family has grown to the point that I can definitely say that five kids? Well, five kids is definitely the “big family” that I’d once dreamed of having.
This family may not be all of us living under one roof. They’re not all my own biological children. This family of ours will never be all five of those kids calling me “mom”. But they are five amazing kids that I get to share my life with. I am being given the opportunity to positively affect their lives. I am being given the privilege of getting to know them, and having them teach me. Teaching me things that they might not have been able to teach me had they actually been my own biological children.
No, this might not have been exactly what I’d imagined for myself all those years ago when I asked The Universe for a big family. But you know what? I’m pretty sure that The Universe knew what it was doing — and gave me something even better than I ever could have imagined. What this does is remind me to keep my requests broad and my mind open, because there are possibilities — wonderful possibilities — that my tiny little brain just can’t comprehend.
These days I am feeling so grateful for my gifts from The Universe — gifts that I didn’t even know I wanted. The blessings just keep coming.