It’s funny that earlier this week CBG wrote about adjusting to not being alone , when this was something that I’d been thinking about myself these last few days. Particularly over the weekend when I found myself with a couple of different small chunks of alone time while CBG had to work.
It’s rare these days that I get any time alone to myself at all.
Unlike CBG, however, I have to admit that I really miss my alone time sometimes. Not that I have any regrets, because I absolutely do not; but for the almost 5 years that I was on my own with my girls, I had gotten used to having at least 2 evenings a week all to myself. It’s not like I did anything all that special with my alone time; I would blog, read a book, watch some of my favourite shows, go to bed early.
I was lonely some nights, for sure. And I pined away for my man.
But my time alone? That was sacred for me, and now that I don’t have that anymore, I realize how much I miss it.
When CBG was out working this weekend I cranked up the “girl tunes” and sang my heart out while I cleaned and did a little painting. I really enjoyed the time. As much I love being with my girls and being with CBG, I realized that I also really enjoy my own company, too. And truly, I miss it. I may be an extrovert but I consider myself an “introverted extrovert”: a person who needs a certain amount of alone time to recharge my batteries and do my own thing.
After having time to myself last weekend I realized that this is something that I need to seek out a little bit more. There needs to be just a wee bit more balance in my life between time spent with others and time spent with myself. I need to spend more time with just me, even if it’s just going to bed early with a book now and again, or spending a couple of hours window shopping downtown on a Saturday afternoon. I know that running will help with this, my ultimate alone time, but since I’m still building my health back up, this is something I need to take it easy with for the time being.
I remember a time in my life when my girls were young and I barely got any alone time at all. I ended up feeling burnt out and resentful, which is the last place I want to end up ever again. This life that CBG and I are building is too important to do anything but. We’re still in a period of adjustment, figuring all of this out. I’m confident that we will get there.