I’m Getting Married

It’s funny the things that divorce will have us telling ourselves, particularly in the beginning. I remember when I first met CBG, over three years ago, only a few months out of my marriage, I was rather certain that I would never get married again. I was bitter and I daresay a bit jaded about the marriage thing. I recall a conversation pretty early on when one of us asked the other, “Do you think you’ll ever get married again?” and we both answered that question with the same resounding, “HELL NO!!”

Several months into our relationship I remember the general topic of marriage being discussed again. We were still both hesitant, but the “HELL NO!” had softened into a “…maybe someday…”

I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but at some point, the “…maybe someday…” morphed into a, “I want to get married again someday”. It certainly didn’t happen overnight. But as CBG and I worked on our relationship and allowed our love to grow and deepen, the more I realized that I wanted to one day be a wife.

His wife.

Now, don’t go throwing out the ‘congrats’ just yet, people. There has been no official question or answer at this point. But do you like what I did with my title there? Had you a lil bit excited there for a minute, now didn’t I?

heh.

I guess my point here is (and I do have one, beyond taunting my faithful internets purely for my own amusement), is that it’s important to keep an open mind (and heart) in life. We just never know what life is going to present to us at any time. In the span of less than three and a half years, I have gone from a woman who was pretty bitter about marriage and KNEW I was never going to take that particular plunge again, to a woman in love who knows that without a doubt, one day, she will be again be saying “I do”.

Funny the things that happen in life, huh?

23 Responses

  1. Funny how time and circumstances soften our resolve a bit :-) I was clearly in the no marriage and definitely no babies camp from about age 15 onward. Now here I am married nearly ten years with a 1 & 2 year old. I’m pretty glad my mind wasn’t completely closed to the ideas and am really glad I opened my heart enough to let hubby in because his role in breaking down my walls was paramount. Opening myself up to these possibilities has changed my life so much – all for the better.

    I’m so glad to hear you’ve both been a pivotal influence in the other’s process of working through what didn’t work last time and know that this time your experience will be completely different because you are cognizant of what will make or break a marriage and you recognize the value in building a strong foundation to build upon.

  2. You DID have my a little bit (lot bit) excited there! Tease!! No wonder CBG keeps coming back! ;)

    I’m very happy for you guys to be at the stage you’re at though. Sometimes getting to the point of being ready feels like more work than everything that comes after it!

  3. Oh my goodness! This completely speaks to me!!

    In the midst of the breakup with Mr. Blue Eyes, I had to produce a 32-page Bridal Guide for the newspaper. I thought it was an incredibly cruel joke. But one of the miracles that came out of it is that I had the opportunity to write a personal essay about exactly this transition – from spending my whole life thinking that I NEVER wanted to get married (because watching my parents’ marriage was not fun, why would I do THAT?) to realizing that I really DO want that type of commitment and stability.

    It’s a huge shift and I feel like I’m finally back in line with what my true desires always were…but I was letting fear and anger get in the way.

    Here’s to getting married!!! May we both make that step with the right person at the right time and be blissfully happy for life. :-)

    (And yes, your title did have me going there for a minute…)
    Hugs,
    Leah

  4. Uh, you sorta did get me with that title, but then I thought *maybe* you would have said something sooner (like when we were emailing yesterday hehe). But you are so right on with this point, because I was exactly the same as you in that thinking, but now, I WANT to be M’s wife…not just get married again, but I want to be HIS wife. And I want him to be my husband. It’s that simple. Things change, perspectives change, people change us. I love this!

  5. I thought I had asked a question that I didn’t remember asking…

    …YET.

  6. I said the exact same thing… and then BLT came along and well, April will be here before we know it and I’ve even bought a wedding dress *GASP*

    Love is an amazing healing force isn’t it!
    Lucy

  7. I totalllllly thought you two got engaged, you sneaky little thing, you! I love this post though – you are so right, perspectives can totally change as your experiences change. I’m SO glad you’ve opened your mind up to marriage…and can’t wait until the real “I’m getting married” post ;-)

  8. That was so mean you had me excited. I agree never say never.

  9. Yeah, I’m still not sold on the idea. But y’all have fun with that. ;)

    LOVES!

  10. Great title – got me! You’re right – it is so important to keep an open mind – it makes for a different approach to life, more like a willingness to see what comes along, a willingness to take a chance, a willingness to be vulnerable.

    It is a leap year, you know … you could do the asking ;)

  11. You sneaky little thing — I agree! I was holding my breath… I just love the fact that you are open and willing to take the risk.

  12. hahha way to trick us! I thought for sure I was going to read he had proposed! I love this post…kind of. The reason I say kind of is because just yesterday a jack ass broke up with me (via a text message mind you!) so I’m feeling pretty anti-men, anti-marriage right now. But it kind of gives me hope that one day I’ll be back at the “I can’t wait to get married” stage.

  13. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

  14. [...] is no. While CBG and I have discussed marriage, and even though I recently declared on my blog that I planned on getting married someday, I honestly had no expectation that it was going to happen on this [...]

  15. [...] though I wrote recently about feeling ready to marry again, when I’m honest with myself, I know that I still have a lot of fear there. Having [...]

  16. [...] as our engagement became official and our wedding conversations were based in reality rather than fanciful dreams, I realized that while it would be fun to run off and make it all about us, there was no way that [...]

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