My, How the Bitter Have Fallen…

It was almost exactly a year ago when I was talking to an old childhood friend and she told me that she was getting married. My first instinct was to tell her, “DON’T DO IT!!” Listening to her talking about her wedding plans made me feel just a little bit sick to my stomach.

Um, yeah. Despite being blissfully happy in my relationship, I was still in that “bitter” phase from my marriage.

And here we are…one short year later. While I’m still not convinced that most people should, in fact, get married, I’m actually at a point where I would consider it for myself again.

I know. Crazy, huh?

It’s come up in conversation with CBG many times in the last year. We’re at a point where we are on the same page. We see marriage as part of our future together.CBG was mulling over similar issues on his blog recently, too.

(Of course, it might not necessarily be a traditional marriage, since relocating isn’t something that either one of us can do anytime in the near future unless some unimaginable circumstances change for one of us. But that’s a blog post all it’s own.)

It’s interesting how being crazy in love with someone can make you change your mind about something like marriage. I’m definitely not bitter anymore.  I guess that just means that I’m focusing on life as it is now, rather than how it once was. Bitterness about the  past is a waste of positive energy. Mistakes were made, lessons were learned. I need to remember to put those lessons to good use.

9 Responses

  1. I find this funny because I swore I would NEVER get married. Scott swore he would NEVER get married. Then we met. We were together 3 days and he looked at me and said “You know we’re gonna get married right?” I said “Yeah.”

    Here we are coming up on our 4year anniversary. :)

    Never say never!!

    I’m so glad to hear you are over the bitter. It’s not a healthy way to go through life.

  2. I’m solidly still in the “bitter not a chance in hell I’d put myself at the mercy of another human being I’m better off alone” phase. Yay for you though. ;-)

  3. Very, very wise words.

    I hope that you and CBG have a very long and happy marriage (If that is what you choose!)

  4. I think it’s all to do with being with the “right” person and yeah, ignore what convention says – make the marriage how it works for both of you. Perhaps that’s the wisdom we missed when we were younger?

  5. I agree with Mandy.

    The difficult part of a long distance relationship is that it’s NOT traditional and yet everyone in your life will try to MAKE it that way. No one can possibly understand how you do it or why you do it or why continue when there are no answers, blah blah blabitty blah.

    You have to make it your own.

    Once you decide ‘to hell with all of that traditional crap’, then suddenly it seems clearer and possible.

    I say YAY YOU!

    • We’re definitely in the “to hell with tradition” mode. Whatevs. Only CBG and I can define our relationship and the rules under which we choose to operate. So what if most people can’t understand it?

      HA! I say that today. Next week I might be feeling completely different…lol

  6. Heh. I was the same way before I met The Man. I wasn’t exactly bitter, but I just couldn’t imagine getting married again. Now? Maybe someday… :)

  7. It IS funny how things change, right? That’s why I tend to go with the “never say never” mantra…because some things I used to say no-way-no-how, I now think I may not be as closed minded to as I used to. Once you get past a certain point post-divorce (or post separation or whatever), I think things just do evolve a bit more, whether you’ve met new love or not.

  8. I’m happy for you. It sounds like a lovely place to be emotionally.

    I love BLT in a way I’ve never loved anyone else, and yet the idea of getting married scares the hell out of me. I’m thrilled to be living in sin though, lol, don’t get me wrong.

    I can’t imagine life without him in it – but marriage? Wow that’s a scary thought.

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