Parenting By Example

When it comes to parenting, I’m not much one for the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do”. I believe that one of the best ways I can teach my children to be good, decent, loving, respectful people is by providing them with examples.When it comes to my girls, I attempt to conduct myself in ways that provide them with good, positive examples.

Sure, I’m not perfect, I can accept that. I have parenting moments that aren’t always stellar…just like every parent. I’m not trying to set an example of someone who is “perfect”. It’s both unrealistic to attempt, and to expect them to strive for.

Last week I had a less than stellar parenting moment with my oldest daughter, Kiddo. I drop them off with their dad every morning as I head out to work (he just lives down the street from me). We were running late, I was rushed, and I was hurrying them along. She was talking, talking, talking, and I found myself really impatient with her. I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I attempted to cut her off because I was in a bad mood and didn’t have time to deal with it.

That’s when she stopped me. “Mommy!” She said, the frustration clear in her voice, “You always tell us that we’re supposed to talk about our feelings. And right now I feel like you’re not letting me do that.”

Whoa. Pretty freaking articulate for a 6 year old.

She was right.

I apologized right away, she finished what she needed to say, and we went on our merry way.

I thought about all the way to work that morning. When I got to work, I phoned her at her dad’s house (they hadn’t left for school yet) just to talk to her a little more….to reiterate that she’d done the right thing by pointing my mistake out to her, and that I always, always want her to feel like she can talk about her feelings with me.

The conversation ended on a happy note, and I was able to continue on with my day.

Fast forward to the next week. I was hanging out with the girls, we were having fun and painting some Christmas pictures together. At one point, Kiddo didn’t listen to me, and so as a consquence, I told her that she had to be finished painting (we were almost ready to clean up anyhow). I sent her away from the table where we were working to wash up.

Five minutes later, a cleaned up Kiddo came to me, resting her hand on my arm.

I turned to face her.

“Mommy, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for not listening earlier.”

My heart warmed through.

“That’s okay, Kiddo. It happens to everyone sometimes. Thank you for your apology. I really appreciate it.”

The conversation ended with a huge, bone-cracking hug.

It’s good to know that even through my mistakes, I’m able to teach my girls what it means to be a good human being. We all mess up sometimes. It’s what we do with those mistakes that count the most.