I couldn’t even wait for him to get inside. I saw his car pull in behind my building and I ran out to meet him, breathless, trembling.
It had been almost three months since we’d last seen each other. Three months and an ocean of tears. Three months of lonely nights. Three months of trying to forget about him. Three months of continuing to read his blog posts every single day even after I promised myself that I wouldn’t. Three months of online dating, trying to find someone who would take my mind off a man that I still loved, even though I didn’t want (and tried not) to.
There were more to those three months, though. They were three months of growth and healing. Three months of learning to stand on my own two feet. Three months of learning that I can take care of myself. Three months of learning that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. Three months of learning that I could find happiness all on my own.
Things went wrong the first time…on both our parts. There were lessons that needed to be learned – apart. My only wish was that we could have done it without hurting each other so much first.
But all that is behind us now. I felt it the second that he dropped everything that he was carrying to scoop me up in his arms and hug me like a man who was back from the brink of death. All thoughts of “we’ll just wait and see how things go” immediately went out the window. I was in his arms…he was in mine…and that was all that mattered.
I don’t know what the future holds for us. None of us do, really. I can be okay with that…because what we have right here, right now, is enough. I know what love is…and I am intensely grateful for it. Because in the past three days I have felt more love and joy than some people ever get to experience in their lives.
I believe in love because I have seen it in his eyes, tasted it on his lips, felt it in his touch, heard it in his voice.
And even if I never get to feel exactly this way ever again, it will still be enough.